A woman’s thoughts on #TheBachelor

I’m honestly in the middle of writing a different post, but this had to be done. Because let’s be honest, 140 characters just isn’t enough for me to express my feelings on…


So here we go…

Dear “The Bachelor”,

I used to be an avid watcher of you. I used to watch on a weekly basis and get super pumped about you being on at night. I used to pick my favorite contestants. I used to feel their heartbreak as they faced rejection and join in their excitement as they accepted a rose. I used to drool over the man you deemed “The Bachelor”. I used to enjoy the super fun and romantic dates you planned out. I used to invest myself into the cat fights and heated drama. I used to be able to sit through an entire episode without feeling the need to upchuck…

I found you were on tonight when I got home so I figured I’d tune in for a bit and see what all this Juan Pablo hype was about. I made it 2 minutes before I was ready to gag. I then asked myself “why the change?” I mean, Juan Pablo is pretty much the same as the last 5 “dreamboats” that preceded him. The girls are still beautiful, the dates are still crazy insane and elaborate, the drama still lurks around every corner, & yes, Chris Harrison is still hosting. So what’s different about watching it now? If the show hasn’t changed…
hmmm, maybe I have?

I guess you could say I’m more aware now. More aware of your ridiculousness and nonsense. More aware of the deceit. More aware of the corruptness. More aware of how unrealistic you are. More aware of how annoying the whole thing is. More aware of what makes “good TV”. Let me explain a little bit why it is I don’t like you. I don’t like the way I feel the need to close my eyes and cringe in agony at the cheap, cheesy, & often times forced “romance” I’m viewing. I don’t like the way you portray women. I don’t like the way you portray men. I don’t like the way you set up pursuit… if one could even call it that. I don’t like the way your “dates” consist of one man looking at 15+ women in bikinis. I don’t like the way the women are okay with it. I don’t like that we call this guy a gentleman. (…because in my opinion a gentleman who wants to date doesn’t take multiple girls out on the same date and bee-bop from hot-tub to hot-tub. No, in my opinion, a gentleman asks one girl out, picks her up at her door, escorts her to a place that says “I respect you”, engages in meaningful conversation, and by the end of the night takes that one girl home… and yes, to her home where he then leaves. end rant.) I don’t like the way that the women feel the need to expose all of themselves (in more ways than one) in fear that if they don’t lay it all out on the table they’ll run out of time and get the boot. I don’t like the way that time isn’t allowed… time to invest, time to nurture, time to pursue, & time to (call me crazy here) get to know each other. I don’t like the way that your contestants hang their worth and every last bit of their energy and devotion on a man they hardly know… just because he’s got a good bod and a rose. It’s a competition between women. …& I don’t like that either. Because if I can be real blunt here for a second…
Women + Competition = ruh roh.
Trust me, I’m a woman.

You didn’t change. I did. You’re still the same ridiculous, corrupt, unrealistic, & cheap TV I watched 3 years ago. I’m just able to see that clearly now. If your premise is entertainment… fine. okay. I can see that. Jersey Shore, Real Housewives, Keeping Up with the Kardashians… Not always the best example of good values, but entertaining nonetheless. But if your premise is doing pursuit the right way… sorry, you’ve got the wrong viewer. I know I don’t have to watch you, thus why I choose not to. Let me clarify that I’m not angry at you as a show, you’re just like the rest of the listings on my TV guide. But what I am angry about is the shaded and deceitful message you send to your viewers. I am angry at your false portrayal of what true love is and how to “win it”. I am angry that with every elaborate group date, every sought-after rose, & every insincere kiss you steal the beauty, virtue, & purity of pursuit as God intended. Your stab at entertainment… well played. Your stab at true love… not a chance.

a woman with a brain, a good sense of worth, & a sturdy moral compass who would never in a million years ever agree to be 1 of 25 women ruthlessly competing over a man with a rose
Dear Men,

I’m sorry we beg you to be “good pursuers” as we watch trash so contradictory to anything resembling Godly pursuit. I’m sorry we praise solid abs, a good smile, and a thick, exotic accent, yet tell you all we want is a “good guy”. I’m sorry we ask for your respect in viewing us as more than just our bodies, yet we sit and drool over yours. I’m sorry we buy in to cheap pursuit and don’t allow you to be the men you were meant to be.

I’m sorry for all this and more.

a woman who respects you and still believes in Godly pursuit


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